Bittersweet Truth

Being six years old is hard. The shroud of pure innocence starts to fade away. You question your version of reality, and you start to learn that the world isn't as sweet and kind as you might imagine. Being in school exposes kids to how other families raise their kids. This year, my sweet Solana questioned her belief of Old Saint Nick. While some parents frown on letting their children believe in a jolly white man handing down presents to 'nice' little children, I erred on the side of giving my child a sense of wonder for a special holiday. There is plenty of time in life to learn that things don't come easy and that life isn't full of fun surprises, so this is one fantasy I cherished. The kids know that we exchange gifts in honor of Jesus' birthday but as many kids do, they focus on the presents more than anything!

This year, I cringed when Solana told me that someone shared with her that there is no Santa. I wasn't prepared for the question. Yes I recognize that I'm a bit naive to think that at 6 years old she wouldn't come to this conclusion quite yet but I had hoped for one more year of playing Santa. I wanted one more year of indulging in a fun game of surprise. I wanted one more year of writing letters to Santa and leaving cookies and milk out on Christmas eve. Instead someone decided to tell her that Santa was an old white myth. Then my anxiety turned into worry when I realized I didn't know what to say to that sweet, innocent, shattered expression she held, waiting for me to tell her 'the truth'.

As I sat at the kitchen table, pondering my next parenting move, I asked her if she wanted the truth. Of course she said yes. So I told her ... Santa exists as mommy and daddy because we buy the presents. I held my breath, anticipating a dramatic crying session to ensue. Her favorite holiday was being crushed and I just knew that her heart was broken. I saw her blink and walk away. Oh no, I thought, she's going to throw herself on the sofa and cry her eyes out!

Two seconds later, she comes rushing in with her journal. "Mommy, since you're Santa, here's my list of gifts. I want to make sure you know what each present is!" For the next 30 minutes, we watched commercials on YouTube for any of the toys on her list that I wasn't familiar with, so that I could know what exactly she had in mind. We then went on to have a candid conversation about budgets and expectation setting (no, she will not get all the 12 items on her list!). These moments are parenting gold! Next week's bittersweet truth will be cleaning out current toys to give as donations and more historical parenting about how money doesn't grow on trees!