Solana Says ...

Yes, Solana is talking more and more every day! It seems as though it was just yesterday that she was born, and that I was in that hospital room, feeling such a high the moment I looked over my right shoulder and first laid eyes on that perfect little angel, with her Asian looking eyes, wide open, and her adorable dimples, looking like a toddler already, at 9 pounds 13 ounces ... that precious, precious second is so vividly engrained in my memory! To look at her now, there's no trace of baby to her ....

Her first word was Dada. She now says Mama, Tita (my mom), Ganma (Danny's mom), and my favorite ... Dado (what she lovingly refers to as her brother!).

One of the first phrases she learned was "I want"! She's a full blown female alright, she says this phrase at least 20 times a day! As she learns a new word or two (or ten!) a day, she is expanding this sentence tremendously! Here are a few of her variations: I want eat, I want shake-shake-shake (aka yogurt drinks), I want jute pack (aka Juice Pak), I want titsa (aka pizza), I want carry you (aka I want you to carry me), I want jump jump (aka jumping on the bed or sofa, assisted of course!), I want bike, I want shoes, I want eckace (aka necklace), I want wawa (aka water), I want tea (yes, Daddy makes the best tea!), I want hen hies (aka French Fries, from McDonald's preferably), I want Ath (aka Bath), I want Ikeem (aka ice cream), I want Down (when she wants to get out of any seat), I want Iyaman (which we always have to figure out ... is she saying Iron Man or Vitaman???) ... the list goes on and on!

She is also singing along to her favorite lulluby's ... which include:

• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (which she calls "lil tawww")
• Rock A By Baby (which she calls "Baby")
• Itsy Bitsy Spider (which she signals with her hands more than with words!)
• A San Martin (which she calls Ong Ong Ong and signals with clapping hands ... it's a Spanish song that you clap to)
  
• and her absolute favorite, You Are My Sunshine (which almost sounds like French Fries ... "Hen Hie Away" :) but also quite ironic that it's her favorite song because her name means sunshine!)

Solana has also finally mastered the meaning of "Yes". One of her first words was No and for the longest time she would answer everything with NO! No matter what we'd ask ("Solana, you want ice cream?"), the answer was always No! The only way we could tell if she really meant no was by observing her head motions. If she meant no, her head would stay still. If she meant yes, she would say no but nod yes!

Well, a few weeks ago she finally started saying Yes and just recently has been very consistent in saying yes when she means it. I'm so proud of how quickly she's learning now! And with the concept of "Yes" down, she also added another level to her "No" concept. If she doesn't want something that we are offering, she'll repeat the word but with "no no" at the beginning!

Solana, nap time
"No no nap time!"

Solana, time to go
"No no go!"

Solana, time to put up the toys
"No no up toys!"

Solana, night time ....
"No no night night!"

Even when I tell her it's time for me to go to sleep (yes, I usually fall asleep before her and Daddy puts her to bed soon after) ... Solana, mama night night ...
"No no mama night night!"

And the most recent thing she has learned is how to pout! She really uses that bottom lip well! And she enjoys watching TV so she'll ask for the following shows:

• Un Ob (Spongebob)
• Ni Hao (which she says well!)
  
• Down Show (The Upside Down Show)
• Awgans (The Backyardigans)
• Oiiiia (Olivia)
• Ling Ling (meaning Ming Ming, one of the characters from Wonder Pets)
• Ora (meaning Dora the Explorer)
• (My Favorite) "Wow wow wow wow wuuuuubzy" (it's really just Wow Wow Wubzy but she adds like a million "wow"s in her made up title!

Oh, and how can I forget one of her latest tricks ... she loves to get naked! She's quick to say, "I want off!" Solana is very comfortable running around in just a diaper and every once in a while, even her diaper gets lost! She hates keeping her shoes on for too long ... if the van ride is more than 15 minutes, you better bet that she's taking her shoes off! She can't stand anything in her hair for long (if at all).

Recently she's shown interest in being potty trained! So she now says "I want poo poo".

Overall she loves to play so she'll say, "I want ay" (aka, I want to play). She loves playing with my jewelry, playing with baby dolls, pushing around the stroller, reading books and writing / coloring, like most girls her age!

It's amazing to see her little personality develop, and I love being able to communicate with her. It's bittersweet, even at this age (almost two years old), she seems to be growing up too fast! And I just know that in a few years, all of these things that Solana says will be a vague memory if I didn't jot them down! I hope that she reads this one day and gets a kick out of how she developed!!! Love you Solana!

Day In the Life

Today I was a pretend stay-at-home mom ...

It was the first time in a long time that I haven't spent the weekend recuperating from work. I'm in a new position and my third week in was a little more intense but not even close in comparison to the last five years. Today, I didn't even think about work (which was unheard of in my prior role!). Today all I thought about was my home and my kids.

I woke up before the kids and went to the store. I did the grocery shopping for the week at my own pace (which is much quicker without the kids). In the process I actually mapped out what I (yes, me! not Danny, but what I personally) will be cooking this week! It was so much fun! Now when did I ever think I would say I had fun grocery shopping and planning out our meals...

I got home and cleaned out the fridge, as well as the rest of the kitchen. I had time to put away the groceries and get Lito's lunch ready for tomorrow! Solana was still asleep and Lito was playing in his room. Danny was asleep, as was Danny's dad, who is visiting from New Jersey. So I started cooking lunch for the day . It was just baked potatos with BBQ beef and all the trimmings but I made it, I had time to actually put it all together! Then I baked a snack, pigs in a blanket. By now everyone was starting to get up so I hung out, fed the kids, enjoyed my time with them.

Then Lito asked if we could go play at McDonald's (of course) so I got the kids ready and gave Danny some badly needed time off from the kids! We spent about 2 hours at McDonald's (go ahead, call me crazy)! After that we headed home. Even though I was a little tired, I was loving just hanging out with the kids! I got home and just played with them even more, for the rest of the afternoon. By 6:30 pm, I started the kids' bedtime routines, which on every other Sunday includes giving Lito a haircut. Usually I'm so stressed out by this time of day that poor Lito gets rushed through his haircut and Solana gets a quick rinse. Not today! Solana enjoyed playing in the tub for quite a while and Lito and I were joking around during haircut time.

Danny helped with Solana so I could clean Lito up and get him ready for bed. So Lito and I just played again in his room! At some point I told him jokingly, "Get your butt over here!" and he could not stop laughing! He said, "Mommy, you said butt!!!" You know the gut-hurting, straight-from-the-heart, bent over kind of laughter? Yeah, that was him! We had the giggles for a while, until he decided he was tired enough to get cozy in bed. By this point Solana had rejoined us (she can't stand being away from the laughter!). We did the usual nightime vitamin donwload and got a nice surprise as Lito was winding down. His grandfather came to the room to say goodnight. He's leaving tomorrow and we have his wedding album in Lito's room. He said he wanted to see the album before he leaves us, and he wanted to show Lito the family photos. It was so sweet watching Lito asking about all the unfamiliar faces! It was probably the first time I saw Danny's father actually interacting with Lito in that special way, and I was so happy to have been there at that moment!

Next, it was time to put Solana to bed. She has a specific routine too. She goes to sleep with the TV on so the first thing we do in her room is for her to turn on her own television. I then turn the lights off, get the blankets from her crip, and sit in the rocking chair. She runs over, jumps in my lap and lays her little head on my chest ... she strategically rests her ear over my heart, she loves the sound and won't fall asleep in any other position! I cover her up and we just rock until her arms and legs go limp and her breathing is low and steady. I usually run my fingers through her hair and every once in a while I doze off too. As I felt her fall deeper and deeper into her slumber, I just thought about my day.

How beautiful a day it was ... I could get used to this! I am so blessed ...

My Sweet Lito

This morning came with a question I've been dreading ... Lito said he wants to be in sports! He's five and I'm sure he's ready ... but am I?

I worry too much! That's exactly what Danny will say at this point in reading my blog (love ya honey!)!

So I asked him what sport he wants to play. We were passing the neighborhood park and he saw a group playing baseball, which is what I'm sure put the thought on his mind. He named off a few ... football, baseball, soccer ball (yes, that's how he said it!).

He then went on to tell me that he thinks about it every day! I asked him why he didn't say anything and he responded, "Because I can never go". I asked him what he meant and he said, "You never take me". Dagger right to the heart! I remember him mentioning it before but we were just getting him into school and we (or maybe just I) thought it would be too much for him. He'd never been in any type of day care and he was starting public pre-K. I guess I should have revisited the topic sooner ...

So now the question is, where do I start in getting him into a sport. I'm sure I'll figure it out ... in the mean time, we're at McDonalds (our usual spot) and I'm enjoying watching him play. He's made a new friend and they are having a ball!

Until ... they had an accident! He fell down on his cute little face ... his first busted lip. He instantly broke into tears and wailing and limping ... the works! I scooped him up in my lap and proceeded to check him out. I didn't tell him he had a little blood on his lip. When he gets hysterical like this, every little things becomes bigger than it is. So I cupped his little face gently in my hands, turned him towards me and said, "Hey, hey, stop crying and talk to me. What hurts?"

He turned his lip out, trying to stop crying, tears pouring down his cheeks and pointed to his knee. I had looked there already and knew he was fine so I said, "Okay, if it hurts, look at it. Is there anything there?" He hesitantly looked at his knee and shook his head after realizing his knee was fine. I asked, "Does anything else hurt?" He shook his head again. Good, his lip was a non-issue!

Knowing everything was fine, I then chose to capitalize on the moment, it was perfect timing. "Honey, if you really want to play sports, this kind of thing is going to happen all the time. You may fall a lot and get a little hurt, but you just have to look at yourself and figure out if you're really hurt. Are you sure you want to play sports?"

He was really thinking about it, I could see it in his eyes! His little brain was grasping my concept and I was so eager for his response. Could he handle the thought of 'getting hurt' just to play a sport? Then the woman at the next table crushed my tactic! She quickly told him, "You don't want to be a sissy girl do you? Boys are tough, you gotta be tough boy!"

Really? There went that game plan ... thanks, thanks a lot!

So the moment passed and Lito went back to playing. I guess I'll have to talk to him later, at home, with Danny. For now he's back at play and I love watching him have fun. My sweet sweet Lito!

Kerianne

She'll probably never read this but my heart has to tell this story ...

I was at McDonald's (no surprise, I know!) with the kids (well, it would be weird if it was just me!). Lito was playing and Leila was eating. I noticed this little girl, maybe about 8 or 9 years of age, at most. She was climbing the outside walls of the play area, right in front of the sign that says no climbing...

I looked around to see if anyone was with her. Yes, this entails some social profiling! Her olive skin and dark short messy hair stood out. The couple next to me (blond and fair skinned) was definitely not a match. The woman in the next booth looked like she was with the other couple so I took that as a dead end as well. There was another couple but they were much older and I had already seen their child with them (a grandchild I'm assuming). The last woman was a large African American with her hands full with about 6 African American kids, so as wrong it is, I assumed this girl was not with her.

No one else was around but I noticed an empty table with leftover food on it. There was a purple pony next to a happy meal so I just sat back and waited for the parent to return. In the mean time, this little girl climbed higher and higher. As I watched the other parents, I caught glimpses of subtle glances her way and disapproving head shakes. No one said anything to her ... I was no better, I didn't want to step on any parental toes!

The little boy that was with the couple next to me ran up to the little girl and said, "Hey! How'd you get up there!" Instantly his mother barked at him, "Don't you dare climb that, I'm not her mother but I AM yours so you are NOT doing that!" Other parents turned their gazes towards the little girl but she didn't get the hint. She kept dangling precariously from the top rim.

As I sat there, getting anxious about her safety, I tried to distract myself. I played with Solana and tried not to glance at the empty table so much. I caught the gaze of the older couple across the room. Why was she looking at me? Maybe it was just me being paranoid. A few more glances her way and I realized she was trying to figure out if I was the girl's mother! I'm fair skinned but I was the only person in the room with dark hair! Great, now they think I'm the bad parent here!!

I kept looking over at the empty table, hoping it was a subtle hint that she didn't belong to me. The ugly stares kept coming though. So I moved ... I literally took Leila and parked us at the other side of the play area. From there, I watched as the little girl kept climbing. At one point she got down and went to the main seating area but came back parent-less still.

On her way back to her climbing, she stopped to chat with me. Seriously, now they will really think she's with me! She asked me if Lito and Leila were my kids. I said yes and her response floored me! "I don't really know my mom" WOW! Okay, what to say to that ... I don't remember my exact words but she proceeded to explain that she lives with her grandfather because her dad is dead (he was shot) and his mom (whose boyfriend has lots of tattoos and tells her how awful jail is) only sees her once or twice a week but that she loves her very much. She also shared that she didn't know why her mom has a tattoo of a devil with a rose on her butt. With that quick summary, right back to climbing she went! By this time, the older couple had left but there was another couple that replaced them. They gave me similar glances, especially after the little girl had come to me on her own. Can you believe it!! They were profiling ME as well!

As I tried to focus on my own kids, I was suddenly startled by the low rumble of a voice from an older, heavy set Hispanic man coming in to the play area. "Kerianne!" He didn't even look at her but she clearly reacted to him, especially when he told her she had 10 minutes to wrap up her playtime. Finally, the "responsible" adult... and not even without blinking, out the door he went, out of sight instantly! Of course she stayed up there and now was proclaiming to the world, "Look, I can touch the ceiling!"

At that point, I couldn't take it any more. How in the world could I get her to come down. Think, think, there's got to be a way ... for her safety above all. I got it! I waited until we locked eyes and I waved for her to come to me. She swiftly made her way down and smiled all the way in my direction. When she got close, I said, "If your mommy were here, she'd probably tell you not to climb that, it's dangerous and I'm sure that she loves you so much that she wouldn't want you to get hurt." She just shyly bit her lip, nodded her head and said, "I love her too". It worked like a charm! In a way ...

For the rest of her play time she hung out with me and the kids. She was so sweet. Let me tell you, Kerianne is very smart. She noticed how the kids look like me and she was well spoken. She enjoyed playing with my kids and she talked about her favorite things. She told me lots of things! Kerianne also knows the difference between "juvi" and regular jail. My heart was so distraught. How could I stay connected to this beautiful little girl? Would her grandfather think it strange if I offered him my number? Wait, I don't know that family, how do I know what they would ask of me if I offered my help with her? And then I looked into Kerianne's eyes as she was telling me how much she loves her mother again. At that point, I didn't care who thought she was with me. I was glad to meet Kerianne!

I hope that someday our paths will cross again. I wish her love and caring from everyone she encounters. I wish for her some great mentors and lots of opportunities. Above all, I hope that all my assumptions and prejudices of her family are wrong...I hope my preconceived perceptions of her rearing is 100% incorrect. I couldn't help but think about my own childhood, she and I have some things in common. At the same time, I felt blessed to have had an overprotective and overzealous religious mother (as much as I hated it when I was young).

When her grandfather came back to the play area, he didn't even seem concerned that she was talking to a total stranger. I hope that Kerianne keeps her wits about her and that her smarts will tell her which strangers to trust. I'll think of you often Kerianne!

Being Female

I just want to talk about Solana... Before I got pregnant with her, I knew my husband wanted a girl. He always wanted a boy first and we were blessed with Lito! So I knew the girl had to be next! I, on the other hand, dreaded the thought of having a girl! But when I found out I was pregnant, a friend of mine told me about the Chinese Baby Calendar.



Just for fun, I looked it up. I entered our info and what did it say? Girl was the prediction! I was already nauseous, why did I have to go to that site! As the weeks went by, I thought to myself "What if it is a girl? I need to be prepared!"



You might wonder why I was so hesitant. Let's just say that I didn't have the ideal childhood and my relationship with my mother has been very stressful. There were times I thought it had to be just how she and I were, but then my sister went through the same thing with our mother. I didn't have many girlfriends growing up but as for the ones I did have, their relationships with their moms weren't so great either! So all my experiences with mother/daughter relationships were very scary!



I remember so vividly the day I had the ultrasound where they told us (my husband and Lito were there too) that we were going to have a baby girl. I instantly started crying. My husband asked if I was okay and all I could muster under my breath was "I'm so happy!" So as it turns out, even through my fears, I really wanted that beautiful baby girl! Here are some other memories I have with her so far:

• The day she was born, the first time I laid eyes on her, I fell in love! Her eyes were wide open and I saw her dimples ... she is definitely mine!
• I loved nursing her; to this day she loves to snuggle with me!
• Her first intentional sound was a growl! Yes, she's fiesty! And she still growls when she's mad :)
• She is very girly! She's 18 months and she plays house, has three baby dolls, loves to dress up using mommy's jewelry and shoes, and she loves to wear her very pink jacket & hat!
• She loves to brush my hair ... she's not very gentle but she is very conscious of my hair. She sets it just right if it's out of place and she swipes her little hand across my forehead when my bangs are covering my eyes.
• She loves to dance! Seriously, she's got moves already!
• She loves her brother ... she hugs him and loves on him so much!
• She adores her father ... when he goes to work, she brings me my cell phone, hands it to me and starts yelling "Dada!" (that's her polite way of asking me to call him so she can talk to him ... it's so beautiful!)

I am so enjoying her! She lights up when she sees me every single day and she loves just being near me. I don't want her to grow up but at the same time I can't wait to see the young girl, young lady and incredible woman I know she'll be one day! I'm already proud of her ...

Lito's First Movie

I took Lito to his first movie yesterday ... it was great! We saw "The Green Hornet", and it was in 3D no less! With Solana being so small, we had to decide which one of us would take him. I haven't been feeling well (still getting over the flu) but we figured it would take less energy from me to sit in a theater than to stay home with an active 18-month old! Ironically, football was on TV so I'm guessing an alterior motive played a hand in that decision :) Either way, I was excited about taking him to such a big event. At the same time, I still was a bit hesitant, worried that he might be too small but I went with the plan anyway.

The show started at 4 Pm Saturday, and all day Lito kept asking when we were leaving. He was so happy with anticipation! We got to the theatre and he was in awe the whole time, even as we were walking in. He held my hand real tight as we walked through the hallways. When the previews started, he sank into his seat and seemed to almost hide. I never realized how loud the surround sound is in a theatre until that moment! He kept looking around and didn't say much. He wasn't smiling either though so I kept asking him if anything was wrong. He insisted everything was okay. As the movie started, I told him to put on the 3D glasses and he didn't want to. Just Great!

Unfortunately I know a little something about my son ... I have a feeling that as he gets older, he will be more tempted by peer pressure than I'd like to admit. So I looked around. Everyone had on their glasses. I slid mine on and just watched him out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, he slyly looked around himself. The girl to his right, the couple behind us, the group in front ... last, he snuck a look at me. His glance went right from me to his own glasses. He slipped his little hand on them and glanced at me to make sure I wasn't watching (Lord forbid he do something that I tell him to do!). He put his glasses on for just a few seconds and then took them off quickly.

I checked the movie to make sure he could still make out the scenes without the glasses, and it was fine. I still tried a couple of times to get him to put them on and keep them on, with very little success. I finally gave in to the fact that the glasses really weren't the point of going to the movies for the first time ever anyway, so I eventually just sat back and let him enjoy the movie at his pace. About 45 minutes into the movie, he tapped my leg with his hand. I leaned in really close, worried that he was scared... it was a really loud fighting scene! That was my fear all along ... after all, he's only 5! I gently rubbed his back and said, "Don't be scared baby, it's just a movie."

Lito said, "Mommy, I really like this movie!" with the biggest, cheesiest smile I've ever seen!

After the movie, I asked him if he liked it ... he said enthusiastically yes.

What did you like best? -- The fighting!
And what else? -- The car crashes!
Anything else? -- The trucks!

Yep, he's a growing boy!! I'll have to ask his Dad to comment on here, apparently Lito talked to his Dad about the movie after we got home too. I fell asleep ... for the night ... guess I'm not over the flu totally! But it sure was worth the energy spent there, seeing his little face light up in that dark theatre, just to say how much he was enjoying it!! Love you Lito!!!

2011 Resolutions

If you've ever worked with me, you know I am all about goals! I like being organized and having a plan. So for 2011, here's my plan:

- Work less

This last year I have worked more weekends than I'd like to admit. One weekend I actually told Danny to bring the kids up to the office so we could have lunch together one Saturday! Lito was so excited looking at his pictures on my desk! He sat in my chair and said, "Is this where you live?" He also asks me (every day that I go to work), "Are you coming home when it's a sun-shiny day?" (in other words, am I coming home when it's light or dark outside)...

- Exercise More

We have already started on this one! We bought the XBox Kinnect. We have Dance Central and Your Shape Exercise programs, both which have already kicked my behind in more ways than none! I'm the biggest size I've ever been. A few months ago my neighbor actually thought I was pregnant!

- Clean / Organize My House More Often

I would love to have less clutter. I would also like to make more time to clean up weekly. A couple of weekends ago, Lito was with me when I was cleaning downstairs. As soon as I was done, I sat down in the living room with him and happily told him, "Tita is coming over!" That's my mom, he loves spending time with both of his grandmas! Lito's response was, "Oh that's why you were cleaning!"

- Spend More Time with Friends

I have been going out to lunch with new friends lately! I had such a good time one particular day that I shared it with Danny and he said, "It's been such a long time since I've heard you have fun at work!" During one of my weekend days, I had lunch with a friend and she said to me, "Wow, the woman (me) sitting in front of me is a totally different person that the girl I met years ago". Seriously, I need to get out more!

- Organize More Family Events

My kids are growing up and I really want them to have fond memories of family trips and traditions. My mom's birthday was 12/23 so we organized a surprise dinner for her. She really was surprised, it was great! I got to see my Aunt that lives here and her husband. When dinner was over, her husband jokingly said, "Okay we'll see you all next year, maybe!" Seriously, I have more family living in Houston now than ever and we barely see each other once a year! Not good!! That has to change.

- Eat Better

Maybe it's my age, but restaurant food and fast food just don't taste the same anymore. My kids need to eat better and we need to lead by example. With Lito going to pre-K this year, I think they are emphasizing the food groups. The other day he asked me, "Mommy, are chips healthy? I want to eat healthy!" What more inspiration could I ask for!

- Strengthen My Marriage

Work has kidnapped me and stolen my time from my kids but also from my husband. I know he needs me and vice versa. Nuff said!

- Keeping Things in Perspective

For the past few years I have been exposed to the most strenous situations and people. I have been faced with the most incredible challenges and I have seen deceit face to face. I have truly lost faith in the human race and that's just not the person that I am. My psyche has been affected and I need to take control again. The other day I ran into a co-worker I haven't seen in a long time. He asked how I was and my response was "So so". He was shocked and asked me if I was okay. I said yes and asked why he thought something was wrong. And he said, "The Alicia I know would never have responded that way!" He's right .... enough is enough.

In 2010, too much happened - I was scammed by a stanger, a few special co-workers passed away, my family was changed forever with a hard diagnosis for one of my cousins, I have spent more time at work than with my kids, most of the year we have been sick (more medical expenses than we've had in a long time) and many of my close friends either left our company or lost their jobs. 2011 has got to be better and I am going to make sure it will be (at least in the things I can control). Blessings to us all!!!