Today I was a pretend stay-at-home mom ...
It was the first time in a long time that I haven't spent the weekend recuperating from work. I'm in a new position and my third week in was a little more intense but not even close in comparison to the last five years. Today, I didn't even think about work (which was unheard of in my prior role!). Today all I thought about was my home and my kids.
I woke up before the kids and went to the store. I did the grocery shopping for the week at my own pace (which is much quicker without the kids). In the process I actually mapped out what I (yes, me! not Danny, but what I personally) will be cooking this week! It was so much fun! Now when did I ever think I would say I had fun grocery shopping and planning out our meals...
I got home and cleaned out the fridge, as well as the rest of the kitchen. I had time to put away the groceries and get Lito's lunch ready for tomorrow! Solana was still asleep and Lito was playing in his room. Danny was asleep, as was Danny's dad, who is visiting from New Jersey. So I started cooking lunch for the day . It was just baked potatos with BBQ beef and all the trimmings but I made it, I had time to actually put it all together! Then I baked a snack, pigs in a blanket. By now everyone was starting to get up so I hung out, fed the kids, enjoyed my time with them.
Then Lito asked if we could go play at McDonald's (of course) so I got the kids ready and gave Danny some badly needed time off from the kids! We spent about 2 hours at McDonald's (go ahead, call me crazy)! After that we headed home. Even though I was a little tired, I was loving just hanging out with the kids! I got home and just played with them even more, for the rest of the afternoon. By 6:30 pm, I started the kids' bedtime routines, which on every other Sunday includes giving Lito a haircut. Usually I'm so stressed out by this time of day that poor Lito gets rushed through his haircut and Solana gets a quick rinse. Not today! Solana enjoyed playing in the tub for quite a while and Lito and I were joking around during haircut time.
Danny helped with Solana so I could clean Lito up and get him ready for bed. So Lito and I just played again in his room! At some point I told him jokingly, "Get your butt over here!" and he could not stop laughing! He said, "Mommy, you said butt!!!" You know the gut-hurting, straight-from-the-heart, bent over kind of laughter? Yeah, that was him! We had the giggles for a while, until he decided he was tired enough to get cozy in bed. By this point Solana had rejoined us (she can't stand being away from the laughter!). We did the usual nightime vitamin donwload and got a nice surprise as Lito was winding down. His grandfather came to the room to say goodnight. He's leaving tomorrow and we have his wedding album in Lito's room. He said he wanted to see the album before he leaves us, and he wanted to show Lito the family photos. It was so sweet watching Lito asking about all the unfamiliar faces! It was probably the first time I saw Danny's father actually interacting with Lito in that special way, and I was so happy to have been there at that moment!
Next, it was time to put Solana to bed. She has a specific routine too. She goes to sleep with the TV on so the first thing we do in her room is for her to turn on her own television. I then turn the lights off, get the blankets from her crip, and sit in the rocking chair. She runs over, jumps in my lap and lays her little head on my chest ... she strategically rests her ear over my heart, she loves the sound and won't fall asleep in any other position! I cover her up and we just rock until her arms and legs go limp and her breathing is low and steady. I usually run my fingers through her hair and every once in a while I doze off too. As I felt her fall deeper and deeper into her slumber, I just thought about my day.
How beautiful a day it was ... I could get used to this! I am so blessed ...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
My Sweet Lito
This morning came with a question I've been dreading ... Lito said he wants to be in sports! He's five and I'm sure he's ready ... but am I?
I worry too much! That's exactly what Danny will say at this point in reading my blog (love ya honey!)!
So I asked him what sport he wants to play. We were passing the neighborhood park and he saw a group playing baseball, which is what I'm sure put the thought on his mind. He named off a few ... football, baseball, soccer ball (yes, that's how he said it!).
He then went on to tell me that he thinks about it every day! I asked him why he didn't say anything and he responded, "Because I can never go". I asked him what he meant and he said, "You never take me". Dagger right to the heart! I remember him mentioning it before but we were just getting him into school and we (or maybe just I) thought it would be too much for him. He'd never been in any type of day care and he was starting public pre-K. I guess I should have revisited the topic sooner ...
So now the question is, where do I start in getting him into a sport. I'm sure I'll figure it out ... in the mean time, we're at McDonalds (our usual spot) and I'm enjoying watching him play. He's made a new friend and they are having a ball!
Until ... they had an accident! He fell down on his cute little face ... his first busted lip. He instantly broke into tears and wailing and limping ... the works! I scooped him up in my lap and proceeded to check him out. I didn't tell him he had a little blood on his lip. When he gets hysterical like this, every little things becomes bigger than it is. So I cupped his little face gently in my hands, turned him towards me and said, "Hey, hey, stop crying and talk to me. What hurts?"
He turned his lip out, trying to stop crying, tears pouring down his cheeks and pointed to his knee. I had looked there already and knew he was fine so I said, "Okay, if it hurts, look at it. Is there anything there?" He hesitantly looked at his knee and shook his head after realizing his knee was fine. I asked, "Does anything else hurt?" He shook his head again. Good, his lip was a non-issue!
Knowing everything was fine, I then chose to capitalize on the moment, it was perfect timing. "Honey, if you really want to play sports, this kind of thing is going to happen all the time. You may fall a lot and get a little hurt, but you just have to look at yourself and figure out if you're really hurt. Are you sure you want to play sports?"
He was really thinking about it, I could see it in his eyes! His little brain was grasping my concept and I was so eager for his response. Could he handle the thought of 'getting hurt' just to play a sport? Then the woman at the next table crushed my tactic! She quickly told him, "You don't want to be a sissy girl do you? Boys are tough, you gotta be tough boy!"
Really? There went that game plan ... thanks, thanks a lot!
So the moment passed and Lito went back to playing. I guess I'll have to talk to him later, at home, with Danny. For now he's back at play and I love watching him have fun. My sweet sweet Lito!
I worry too much! That's exactly what Danny will say at this point in reading my blog (love ya honey!)!
So I asked him what sport he wants to play. We were passing the neighborhood park and he saw a group playing baseball, which is what I'm sure put the thought on his mind. He named off a few ... football, baseball, soccer ball (yes, that's how he said it!).
He then went on to tell me that he thinks about it every day! I asked him why he didn't say anything and he responded, "Because I can never go". I asked him what he meant and he said, "You never take me". Dagger right to the heart! I remember him mentioning it before but we were just getting him into school and we (or maybe just I) thought it would be too much for him. He'd never been in any type of day care and he was starting public pre-K. I guess I should have revisited the topic sooner ...
So now the question is, where do I start in getting him into a sport. I'm sure I'll figure it out ... in the mean time, we're at McDonalds (our usual spot) and I'm enjoying watching him play. He's made a new friend and they are having a ball!
Until ... they had an accident! He fell down on his cute little face ... his first busted lip. He instantly broke into tears and wailing and limping ... the works! I scooped him up in my lap and proceeded to check him out. I didn't tell him he had a little blood on his lip. When he gets hysterical like this, every little things becomes bigger than it is. So I cupped his little face gently in my hands, turned him towards me and said, "Hey, hey, stop crying and talk to me. What hurts?"
He turned his lip out, trying to stop crying, tears pouring down his cheeks and pointed to his knee. I had looked there already and knew he was fine so I said, "Okay, if it hurts, look at it. Is there anything there?" He hesitantly looked at his knee and shook his head after realizing his knee was fine. I asked, "Does anything else hurt?" He shook his head again. Good, his lip was a non-issue!
Knowing everything was fine, I then chose to capitalize on the moment, it was perfect timing. "Honey, if you really want to play sports, this kind of thing is going to happen all the time. You may fall a lot and get a little hurt, but you just have to look at yourself and figure out if you're really hurt. Are you sure you want to play sports?"
He was really thinking about it, I could see it in his eyes! His little brain was grasping my concept and I was so eager for his response. Could he handle the thought of 'getting hurt' just to play a sport? Then the woman at the next table crushed my tactic! She quickly told him, "You don't want to be a sissy girl do you? Boys are tough, you gotta be tough boy!"
Really? There went that game plan ... thanks, thanks a lot!
So the moment passed and Lito went back to playing. I guess I'll have to talk to him later, at home, with Danny. For now he's back at play and I love watching him have fun. My sweet sweet Lito!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Kerianne
She'll probably never read this but my heart has to tell this story ...
I was at McDonald's (no surprise, I know!) with the kids (well, it would be weird if it was just me!). Lito was playing and Leila was eating. I noticed this little girl, maybe about 8 or 9 years of age, at most. She was climbing the outside walls of the play area, right in front of the sign that says no climbing...
I looked around to see if anyone was with her. Yes, this entails some social profiling! Her olive skin and dark short messy hair stood out. The couple next to me (blond and fair skinned) was definitely not a match. The woman in the next booth looked like she was with the other couple so I took that as a dead end as well. There was another couple but they were much older and I had already seen their child with them (a grandchild I'm assuming). The last woman was a large African American with her hands full with about 6 African American kids, so as wrong it is, I assumed this girl was not with her.
No one else was around but I noticed an empty table with leftover food on it. There was a purple pony next to a happy meal so I just sat back and waited for the parent to return. In the mean time, this little girl climbed higher and higher. As I watched the other parents, I caught glimpses of subtle glances her way and disapproving head shakes. No one said anything to her ... I was no better, I didn't want to step on any parental toes!
The little boy that was with the couple next to me ran up to the little girl and said, "Hey! How'd you get up there!" Instantly his mother barked at him, "Don't you dare climb that, I'm not her mother but I AM yours so you are NOT doing that!" Other parents turned their gazes towards the little girl but she didn't get the hint. She kept dangling precariously from the top rim.
As I sat there, getting anxious about her safety, I tried to distract myself. I played with Solana and tried not to glance at the empty table so much. I caught the gaze of the older couple across the room. Why was she looking at me? Maybe it was just me being paranoid. A few more glances her way and I realized she was trying to figure out if I was the girl's mother! I'm fair skinned but I was the only person in the room with dark hair! Great, now they think I'm the bad parent here!!
I kept looking over at the empty table, hoping it was a subtle hint that she didn't belong to me. The ugly stares kept coming though. So I moved ... I literally took Leila and parked us at the other side of the play area. From there, I watched as the little girl kept climbing. At one point she got down and went to the main seating area but came back parent-less still.
On her way back to her climbing, she stopped to chat with me. Seriously, now they will really think she's with me! She asked me if Lito and Leila were my kids. I said yes and her response floored me! "I don't really know my mom" WOW! Okay, what to say to that ... I don't remember my exact words but she proceeded to explain that she lives with her grandfather because her dad is dead (he was shot) and his mom (whose boyfriend has lots of tattoos and tells her how awful jail is) only sees her once or twice a week but that she loves her very much. She also shared that she didn't know why her mom has a tattoo of a devil with a rose on her butt. With that quick summary, right back to climbing she went! By this time, the older couple had left but there was another couple that replaced them. They gave me similar glances, especially after the little girl had come to me on her own. Can you believe it!! They were profiling ME as well!
As I tried to focus on my own kids, I was suddenly startled by the low rumble of a voice from an older, heavy set Hispanic man coming in to the play area. "Kerianne!" He didn't even look at her but she clearly reacted to him, especially when he told her she had 10 minutes to wrap up her playtime. Finally, the "responsible" adult... and not even without blinking, out the door he went, out of sight instantly! Of course she stayed up there and now was proclaiming to the world, "Look, I can touch the ceiling!"
At that point, I couldn't take it any more. How in the world could I get her to come down. Think, think, there's got to be a way ... for her safety above all. I got it! I waited until we locked eyes and I waved for her to come to me. She swiftly made her way down and smiled all the way in my direction. When she got close, I said, "If your mommy were here, she'd probably tell you not to climb that, it's dangerous and I'm sure that she loves you so much that she wouldn't want you to get hurt." She just shyly bit her lip, nodded her head and said, "I love her too". It worked like a charm! In a way ...
For the rest of her play time she hung out with me and the kids. She was so sweet. Let me tell you, Kerianne is very smart. She noticed how the kids look like me and she was well spoken. She enjoyed playing with my kids and she talked about her favorite things. She told me lots of things! Kerianne also knows the difference between "juvi" and regular jail. My heart was so distraught. How could I stay connected to this beautiful little girl? Would her grandfather think it strange if I offered him my number? Wait, I don't know that family, how do I know what they would ask of me if I offered my help with her? And then I looked into Kerianne's eyes as she was telling me how much she loves her mother again. At that point, I didn't care who thought she was with me. I was glad to meet Kerianne!
I hope that someday our paths will cross again. I wish her love and caring from everyone she encounters. I wish for her some great mentors and lots of opportunities. Above all, I hope that all my assumptions and prejudices of her family are wrong...I hope my preconceived perceptions of her rearing is 100% incorrect. I couldn't help but think about my own childhood, she and I have some things in common. At the same time, I felt blessed to have had an overprotective and overzealous religious mother (as much as I hated it when I was young).
When her grandfather came back to the play area, he didn't even seem concerned that she was talking to a total stranger. I hope that Kerianne keeps her wits about her and that her smarts will tell her which strangers to trust. I'll think of you often Kerianne!
I was at McDonald's (no surprise, I know!) with the kids (well, it would be weird if it was just me!). Lito was playing and Leila was eating. I noticed this little girl, maybe about 8 or 9 years of age, at most. She was climbing the outside walls of the play area, right in front of the sign that says no climbing...
I looked around to see if anyone was with her. Yes, this entails some social profiling! Her olive skin and dark short messy hair stood out. The couple next to me (blond and fair skinned) was definitely not a match. The woman in the next booth looked like she was with the other couple so I took that as a dead end as well. There was another couple but they were much older and I had already seen their child with them (a grandchild I'm assuming). The last woman was a large African American with her hands full with about 6 African American kids, so as wrong it is, I assumed this girl was not with her.
No one else was around but I noticed an empty table with leftover food on it. There was a purple pony next to a happy meal so I just sat back and waited for the parent to return. In the mean time, this little girl climbed higher and higher. As I watched the other parents, I caught glimpses of subtle glances her way and disapproving head shakes. No one said anything to her ... I was no better, I didn't want to step on any parental toes!
The little boy that was with the couple next to me ran up to the little girl and said, "Hey! How'd you get up there!" Instantly his mother barked at him, "Don't you dare climb that, I'm not her mother but I AM yours so you are NOT doing that!" Other parents turned their gazes towards the little girl but she didn't get the hint. She kept dangling precariously from the top rim.
As I sat there, getting anxious about her safety, I tried to distract myself. I played with Solana and tried not to glance at the empty table so much. I caught the gaze of the older couple across the room. Why was she looking at me? Maybe it was just me being paranoid. A few more glances her way and I realized she was trying to figure out if I was the girl's mother! I'm fair skinned but I was the only person in the room with dark hair! Great, now they think I'm the bad parent here!!
I kept looking over at the empty table, hoping it was a subtle hint that she didn't belong to me. The ugly stares kept coming though. So I moved ... I literally took Leila and parked us at the other side of the play area. From there, I watched as the little girl kept climbing. At one point she got down and went to the main seating area but came back parent-less still.
On her way back to her climbing, she stopped to chat with me. Seriously, now they will really think she's with me! She asked me if Lito and Leila were my kids. I said yes and her response floored me! "I don't really know my mom" WOW! Okay, what to say to that ... I don't remember my exact words but she proceeded to explain that she lives with her grandfather because her dad is dead (he was shot) and his mom (whose boyfriend has lots of tattoos and tells her how awful jail is) only sees her once or twice a week but that she loves her very much. She also shared that she didn't know why her mom has a tattoo of a devil with a rose on her butt. With that quick summary, right back to climbing she went! By this time, the older couple had left but there was another couple that replaced them. They gave me similar glances, especially after the little girl had come to me on her own. Can you believe it!! They were profiling ME as well!
As I tried to focus on my own kids, I was suddenly startled by the low rumble of a voice from an older, heavy set Hispanic man coming in to the play area. "Kerianne!" He didn't even look at her but she clearly reacted to him, especially when he told her she had 10 minutes to wrap up her playtime. Finally, the "responsible" adult... and not even without blinking, out the door he went, out of sight instantly! Of course she stayed up there and now was proclaiming to the world, "Look, I can touch the ceiling!"
At that point, I couldn't take it any more. How in the world could I get her to come down. Think, think, there's got to be a way ... for her safety above all. I got it! I waited until we locked eyes and I waved for her to come to me. She swiftly made her way down and smiled all the way in my direction. When she got close, I said, "If your mommy were here, she'd probably tell you not to climb that, it's dangerous and I'm sure that she loves you so much that she wouldn't want you to get hurt." She just shyly bit her lip, nodded her head and said, "I love her too". It worked like a charm! In a way ...
For the rest of her play time she hung out with me and the kids. She was so sweet. Let me tell you, Kerianne is very smart. She noticed how the kids look like me and she was well spoken. She enjoyed playing with my kids and she talked about her favorite things. She told me lots of things! Kerianne also knows the difference between "juvi" and regular jail. My heart was so distraught. How could I stay connected to this beautiful little girl? Would her grandfather think it strange if I offered him my number? Wait, I don't know that family, how do I know what they would ask of me if I offered my help with her? And then I looked into Kerianne's eyes as she was telling me how much she loves her mother again. At that point, I didn't care who thought she was with me. I was glad to meet Kerianne!
I hope that someday our paths will cross again. I wish her love and caring from everyone she encounters. I wish for her some great mentors and lots of opportunities. Above all, I hope that all my assumptions and prejudices of her family are wrong...I hope my preconceived perceptions of her rearing is 100% incorrect. I couldn't help but think about my own childhood, she and I have some things in common. At the same time, I felt blessed to have had an overprotective and overzealous religious mother (as much as I hated it when I was young).
When her grandfather came back to the play area, he didn't even seem concerned that she was talking to a total stranger. I hope that Kerianne keeps her wits about her and that her smarts will tell her which strangers to trust. I'll think of you often Kerianne!
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