Being Female

I just want to talk about Solana... Before I got pregnant with her, I knew my husband wanted a girl. He always wanted a boy first and we were blessed with Lito! So I knew the girl had to be next! I, on the other hand, dreaded the thought of having a girl! But when I found out I was pregnant, a friend of mine told me about the Chinese Baby Calendar.



Just for fun, I looked it up. I entered our info and what did it say? Girl was the prediction! I was already nauseous, why did I have to go to that site! As the weeks went by, I thought to myself "What if it is a girl? I need to be prepared!"



You might wonder why I was so hesitant. Let's just say that I didn't have the ideal childhood and my relationship with my mother has been very stressful. There were times I thought it had to be just how she and I were, but then my sister went through the same thing with our mother. I didn't have many girlfriends growing up but as for the ones I did have, their relationships with their moms weren't so great either! So all my experiences with mother/daughter relationships were very scary!



I remember so vividly the day I had the ultrasound where they told us (my husband and Lito were there too) that we were going to have a baby girl. I instantly started crying. My husband asked if I was okay and all I could muster under my breath was "I'm so happy!" So as it turns out, even through my fears, I really wanted that beautiful baby girl! Here are some other memories I have with her so far:

• The day she was born, the first time I laid eyes on her, I fell in love! Her eyes were wide open and I saw her dimples ... she is definitely mine!
• I loved nursing her; to this day she loves to snuggle with me!
• Her first intentional sound was a growl! Yes, she's fiesty! And she still growls when she's mad :)
• She is very girly! She's 18 months and she plays house, has three baby dolls, loves to dress up using mommy's jewelry and shoes, and she loves to wear her very pink jacket & hat!
• She loves to brush my hair ... she's not very gentle but she is very conscious of my hair. She sets it just right if it's out of place and she swipes her little hand across my forehead when my bangs are covering my eyes.
• She loves to dance! Seriously, she's got moves already!
• She loves her brother ... she hugs him and loves on him so much!
• She adores her father ... when he goes to work, she brings me my cell phone, hands it to me and starts yelling "Dada!" (that's her polite way of asking me to call him so she can talk to him ... it's so beautiful!)

I am so enjoying her! She lights up when she sees me every single day and she loves just being near me. I don't want her to grow up but at the same time I can't wait to see the young girl, young lady and incredible woman I know she'll be one day! I'm already proud of her ...

Lito's First Movie

I took Lito to his first movie yesterday ... it was great! We saw "The Green Hornet", and it was in 3D no less! With Solana being so small, we had to decide which one of us would take him. I haven't been feeling well (still getting over the flu) but we figured it would take less energy from me to sit in a theater than to stay home with an active 18-month old! Ironically, football was on TV so I'm guessing an alterior motive played a hand in that decision :) Either way, I was excited about taking him to such a big event. At the same time, I still was a bit hesitant, worried that he might be too small but I went with the plan anyway.

The show started at 4 Pm Saturday, and all day Lito kept asking when we were leaving. He was so happy with anticipation! We got to the theatre and he was in awe the whole time, even as we were walking in. He held my hand real tight as we walked through the hallways. When the previews started, he sank into his seat and seemed to almost hide. I never realized how loud the surround sound is in a theatre until that moment! He kept looking around and didn't say much. He wasn't smiling either though so I kept asking him if anything was wrong. He insisted everything was okay. As the movie started, I told him to put on the 3D glasses and he didn't want to. Just Great!

Unfortunately I know a little something about my son ... I have a feeling that as he gets older, he will be more tempted by peer pressure than I'd like to admit. So I looked around. Everyone had on their glasses. I slid mine on and just watched him out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, he slyly looked around himself. The girl to his right, the couple behind us, the group in front ... last, he snuck a look at me. His glance went right from me to his own glasses. He slipped his little hand on them and glanced at me to make sure I wasn't watching (Lord forbid he do something that I tell him to do!). He put his glasses on for just a few seconds and then took them off quickly.

I checked the movie to make sure he could still make out the scenes without the glasses, and it was fine. I still tried a couple of times to get him to put them on and keep them on, with very little success. I finally gave in to the fact that the glasses really weren't the point of going to the movies for the first time ever anyway, so I eventually just sat back and let him enjoy the movie at his pace. About 45 minutes into the movie, he tapped my leg with his hand. I leaned in really close, worried that he was scared... it was a really loud fighting scene! That was my fear all along ... after all, he's only 5! I gently rubbed his back and said, "Don't be scared baby, it's just a movie."

Lito said, "Mommy, I really like this movie!" with the biggest, cheesiest smile I've ever seen!

After the movie, I asked him if he liked it ... he said enthusiastically yes.

What did you like best? -- The fighting!
And what else? -- The car crashes!
Anything else? -- The trucks!

Yep, he's a growing boy!! I'll have to ask his Dad to comment on here, apparently Lito talked to his Dad about the movie after we got home too. I fell asleep ... for the night ... guess I'm not over the flu totally! But it sure was worth the energy spent there, seeing his little face light up in that dark theatre, just to say how much he was enjoying it!! Love you Lito!!!

2011 Resolutions

If you've ever worked with me, you know I am all about goals! I like being organized and having a plan. So for 2011, here's my plan:

- Work less

This last year I have worked more weekends than I'd like to admit. One weekend I actually told Danny to bring the kids up to the office so we could have lunch together one Saturday! Lito was so excited looking at his pictures on my desk! He sat in my chair and said, "Is this where you live?" He also asks me (every day that I go to work), "Are you coming home when it's a sun-shiny day?" (in other words, am I coming home when it's light or dark outside)...

- Exercise More

We have already started on this one! We bought the XBox Kinnect. We have Dance Central and Your Shape Exercise programs, both which have already kicked my behind in more ways than none! I'm the biggest size I've ever been. A few months ago my neighbor actually thought I was pregnant!

- Clean / Organize My House More Often

I would love to have less clutter. I would also like to make more time to clean up weekly. A couple of weekends ago, Lito was with me when I was cleaning downstairs. As soon as I was done, I sat down in the living room with him and happily told him, "Tita is coming over!" That's my mom, he loves spending time with both of his grandmas! Lito's response was, "Oh that's why you were cleaning!"

- Spend More Time with Friends

I have been going out to lunch with new friends lately! I had such a good time one particular day that I shared it with Danny and he said, "It's been such a long time since I've heard you have fun at work!" During one of my weekend days, I had lunch with a friend and she said to me, "Wow, the woman (me) sitting in front of me is a totally different person that the girl I met years ago". Seriously, I need to get out more!

- Organize More Family Events

My kids are growing up and I really want them to have fond memories of family trips and traditions. My mom's birthday was 12/23 so we organized a surprise dinner for her. She really was surprised, it was great! I got to see my Aunt that lives here and her husband. When dinner was over, her husband jokingly said, "Okay we'll see you all next year, maybe!" Seriously, I have more family living in Houston now than ever and we barely see each other once a year! Not good!! That has to change.

- Eat Better

Maybe it's my age, but restaurant food and fast food just don't taste the same anymore. My kids need to eat better and we need to lead by example. With Lito going to pre-K this year, I think they are emphasizing the food groups. The other day he asked me, "Mommy, are chips healthy? I want to eat healthy!" What more inspiration could I ask for!

- Strengthen My Marriage

Work has kidnapped me and stolen my time from my kids but also from my husband. I know he needs me and vice versa. Nuff said!

- Keeping Things in Perspective

For the past few years I have been exposed to the most strenous situations and people. I have been faced with the most incredible challenges and I have seen deceit face to face. I have truly lost faith in the human race and that's just not the person that I am. My psyche has been affected and I need to take control again. The other day I ran into a co-worker I haven't seen in a long time. He asked how I was and my response was "So so". He was shocked and asked me if I was okay. I said yes and asked why he thought something was wrong. And he said, "The Alicia I know would never have responded that way!" He's right .... enough is enough.

In 2010, too much happened - I was scammed by a stanger, a few special co-workers passed away, my family was changed forever with a hard diagnosis for one of my cousins, I have spent more time at work than with my kids, most of the year we have been sick (more medical expenses than we've had in a long time) and many of my close friends either left our company or lost their jobs. 2011 has got to be better and I am going to make sure it will be (at least in the things I can control). Blessings to us all!!!