Bittersweet Truth

Being six years old is hard. The shroud of pure innocence starts to fade away. You question your version of reality, and you start to learn that the world isn't as sweet and kind as you might imagine. Being in school exposes kids to how other families raise their kids. This year, my sweet Solana questioned her belief of Old Saint Nick. While some parents frown on letting their children believe in a jolly white man handing down presents to 'nice' little children, I erred on the side of giving my child a sense of wonder for a special holiday. There is plenty of time in life to learn that things don't come easy and that life isn't full of fun surprises, so this is one fantasy I cherished. The kids know that we exchange gifts in honor of Jesus' birthday but as many kids do, they focus on the presents more than anything!

This year, I cringed when Solana told me that someone shared with her that there is no Santa. I wasn't prepared for the question. Yes I recognize that I'm a bit naive to think that at 6 years old she wouldn't come to this conclusion quite yet but I had hoped for one more year of playing Santa. I wanted one more year of indulging in a fun game of surprise. I wanted one more year of writing letters to Santa and leaving cookies and milk out on Christmas eve. Instead someone decided to tell her that Santa was an old white myth. Then my anxiety turned into worry when I realized I didn't know what to say to that sweet, innocent, shattered expression she held, waiting for me to tell her 'the truth'.

As I sat at the kitchen table, pondering my next parenting move, I asked her if she wanted the truth. Of course she said yes. So I told her ... Santa exists as mommy and daddy because we buy the presents. I held my breath, anticipating a dramatic crying session to ensue. Her favorite holiday was being crushed and I just knew that her heart was broken. I saw her blink and walk away. Oh no, I thought, she's going to throw herself on the sofa and cry her eyes out!

Two seconds later, she comes rushing in with her journal. "Mommy, since you're Santa, here's my list of gifts. I want to make sure you know what each present is!" For the next 30 minutes, we watched commercials on YouTube for any of the toys on her list that I wasn't familiar with, so that I could know what exactly she had in mind. We then went on to have a candid conversation about budgets and expectation setting (no, she will not get all the 12 items on her list!). These moments are parenting gold! Next week's bittersweet truth will be cleaning out current toys to give as donations and more historical parenting about how money doesn't grow on trees!

Favorite Things

Every year I try to document some of my kids' favorite things ...

Daniel (Lito) - Favorite Foods: Cheese pizza, grilled cheese, cucumbers, Hartz chicken/rolls, waffles, and Cajun Cafe (chicken and waffles) Favorite Activities: watching WWE and YouTube, magic tricks, playing piano, playing outside and playing with friends Favorite Shows: Dr. Who, Thundermans, and Cut Throat Kitchen Favorite Color: Blue and Green Favorite Number: 2 Favorite Day: Friday (he doesn't know why lol) Favorite Teacher: Ms. White Favorite Trip: Cayman Islands Best Friends: A lot of them (Brandon, Landon, Nathan, Andrew, Kevin, Omar, Rory, Alesha) Christmas List: WWE wrestler, WWE Cage, Darth Mal Life Saber, and N-Track Studios App

Solana - Favorite Foods: French fries, macaroni and cheese, noodle soup, plain pasta, goldfish, salad with cheese, and yellow cheese Favorite Activities: playing with dolls, mazes, Minecraft, McDonald's play area, going to the pool and the park Favorite Shows: Shimmer and Shine, Team Umi Zoomi, Peppa Pig, Lalaloopsie, and Doc McStuffins Favorite Color: Pink, Blue and White Favorite Number: All of them Favorite Day: Saturday (because the next day we get donuts) and Sunday (because we get donuts) Favorite Teacher: Ms. Banky, Ms. Dia and Ms. Hart (all the teachers she's ever had, lol) Favorite Trip: Cayman Islands Best Friends: Alesha, Omar, Rory, Shiloh and Christian Christmas List: Bright Eyes, a giant Ariel, Jumpin Little Monkeys, Playdough kitchen set, Bunchems, Starlily My Magical Unicorn, Pop the pig, Lalaloopsy potty surprise, baby alive, a doll swing, and a giant horse (oh, we're in trouble!)

Special Moments This Year - Solana graduated Kindergarten The kids got a pet! Chibbs is our rescue dog :) Solana started playing the drums Lito turned 10 years old! Solana learned about Santa Claus Lito went to his first live WWE event

Passing Time

As the time passes ever so quickly, it's the little things that I want to hold on to ... For my son, I want to remember his laugh ... his gut-wrenching, can't-breathe, eyes-shut, gasping-for-air, one-of-a-kind, genuine belly laugh! He's had it all his life, even as a tiny baby, and when it makes an appearance, I just know he is enjoying life to the fullest. I also fully enjoy his thirst for knowledge. He is constantly on the hunt for new information and fun facts! I may not be able to buy him everything he wants (he has expensive taste!), but he is learning that what matters most in life is never material things. He is learning to look beyond himself. For my daughter, it's her sincere, kind heart. She loves others always more than herself. She cries when she accidentally hurts others. She will share every time. She is in tune with others' feelings, to a fault at times. She lives to make others laugh and have fun! She is sincerely the sweetest person I know! She is teaching me to slow down and to be in the moment as much as possible. Her joy when learning something new is refreshing. She is very perceptive! She is quick to tell me when I'm distracted if she's talking to me, but just as quick to tell me she loves playing games with me! Life truly goes by so quickly. They say the little things become the big things when it comes down to it. That couldn't be more true for parenthood. On a daily basis, I am innately aware of the passing time. If I'm blessed to see the day, in 8 years my son will likely be planning to move away, taking with him that laughter that will echo in my heart forever. In that same time, my daughter will be a teenager, possibly leaving behind that sweet, innocent, kind, playful girl that lives with me now. In just eight short years, my life will not be as chaotic, noisy, messy or restrictive. Instead it will be boring, chillingly quiet, and bare. I would like to think that my kids will still be close to me, but who knows. I'm sure I'll have friends and hobbies to keep me busy, but those things can never replace the family time I enjoy today. So now you know why I haven't blogged or why I don't spend as much time with others. While people around me may think I'm too busy for anyone else or too shy to spend time with group outings, I'm quietly spending time with my kids so that they grow up with fond memories of their mom being around, and so that I can mentally record as much of their beautiful childhood moments. Because I have an innate awareness of the passing time, I soak in every second I can with my kids. I seal in the sound of their laughter, the weight of their tears, the smells of their favorite meals, the beats of their music as they practice their lessons, their favorite books, their excitement to tell me about any little thing ... it's all passing too quickly.