In Your Ghost Face!

There are so many things in life that bring out different parenting styles. Halloween is one of them. Growing up I wasn't really allowed to participate in Halloween. I remember handing out candy one year, and going to the church fall festival another year, but that's about it. Aside from being born and raised in another culture, I was also blessed with a mom that was (and still is) a very devote Southern Baptist. As an adult, I have decided not to take the very strict religious views of my upbringing, and that's where I find myself torn at times. Not in my decision but in how to navigate my parenting situations at times!

I am learning that my son is growing up far too quickly for my liking! We say it all the time, "Time flies". But there are defining moments in his childhood that remind me of just how quickly time does go by, and how unprepared I can be for the twists and turns that come with growing up. My son turned 7 this month and we did the usual run to the local stores for a Halloween costume. I'll have to look back at pictures to see what characters he has been in past years. At the moment, I can say with certainty that he has always gravitated towards super heroes!

To my unsuspecting shock, he knew exactly which costume he wanted. As soon as he saw it, he was unwavering in his choice! I asked him again, "Are you sure? You don't want to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle instead?"

I looked at the ghastly thing he picked out and hesitantly put it in the shopping cart. I think I tried to talk him out of it a few times before getting to the check out counter! But to no avail. Tonight, he will make his big boy debut as a bloody Ghost Face! The costume is rigged with a fake heart, which he is supposed to hold in his sweet little hand, and when he squeezes it, red ink comes flowing from his ghost mask!

Where did my baby boy go?

The irony is that as a parent you want your kids to be happy. I never want my doubts or insecurities to rub off on him. So I went with it. And now, when I tell other parents about his decision, I get the widest array of reactions. Some parents shrug it off as a phase. Other parents look away disapprovingly. Some even flat out go into a rant about how kids are desensitized, uncaring, and selfish.

Either way, I choose to take the path that allows my child freedom to explore. I also applaud parents that actively choose to instill their own beliefs into their kids; it is everyone's right to raise their child as they see fit (with the exception of brooding hatred, abuse or neglect of course!)

So to all parents, I say, have a Happy Day! Whether you celebrate Halloween or not, celebrate the joy and blessing of shaping a young child into a positive contributor to our world! Never take a second for granted!!!

In Her Little Shoes

It's so easy as a parent to get lost in the daily push. I get up at 5 AM, I'm on-the-go the second I hear my alarm (before I even open my eyes!), and by the evening I've given my all to work, the house and the kids. It takes every ounce of push to be patient all the way to the second they are ready for bed.

Most days I can push to that second. Most days, that is a mission accomplished. Then there are days where I fall short of that parental goal. My baby girl, Solana, has a way of reminding me how important that task is, for her development. Growing up myself, I was an only child most of my childhood. By the time my sister came along, I was old enough to have to fend for myself while my sister got all the (well-deserved) attention.

Having my own kids "close together" means that I have to program myself to think differently about parenting! There are times when I am impatient when I shouldn't be, and I recognize it right away when it happens. I have to remind myself that there are things I taught her older brother, and that she hasn't had that same luxury, of undivided attention when it comes to valuable teaching moments. I don't want to ever take that for granted!

So when they fight, I have been practicing being even more patient so that I can focus on each child separately. When they are both battling for my attention, I work extra hard to get them to take turns and give them equal attention. When I find myself defending one over the other, more often than not, I stop myself long enough to analyze how each can learn from the situation instead of demanding more of one over the other. I know it sounds silly but it takes concentrated effort to think that way, for me at least. Maybe my immaturity is coming through but there are days where I think it's just so much easier to do nothing ... to just separate them, send them their respective ways, tell them what to do (instead of actually parenting and teaching) and just (erroneously) focus back on what I was doing - house chores or working from home.

In her shoes, I worry that being a lazy parent translates to Solana thinking that I am an angry person, that I have no time for her, that I don't like her playing with her brother, etc! Luckily I have a beautiful and brilliant daughter that simply won't settle for those kinds of thoughts! She forces me to be a better person and a better example to her! My gorgeous little girl teaches me the value of positive parenting. She will literally cling to me, by whichever limb she can grab, and tell me how it is! And I love it!

"Mommy, I just want you to not be mad!"
"Mama, you didn't laugh and I was funny!"
"Mommy, I just wanted you to talk to me!"
"But mom, you didn't look at what I was showing you!"

Solana will go so far as to grab my face until I'm looking directly at her. She demands attention! Truly I love that about her! And parenting her is so rewarding too. When I dedicate the effort she deserves, she absorbs learning opportunities so well! She asks questions, she restates, she analyzes ... it's a beautiful thing to watch! Solana inspires me and that's where I draw my strength from!

Seven Going on Too Fast

Lito turned 7 years old last week. And it is such a big milestone! Between last year and this year, he's becoming such an amazing person.

This year, he planned his party. He wanted to write his invitations, he wanted to pick his cake, he wanted to help decide on the food that will be served and for the first time, we suggested cash as a gift item for those that wanted to give him a present.

My intention was to help him with his math skills. He is learning the value of coins in first grade so I thought the timing was perfect. Well, I wasn't prepared for all the side effects that came with it! He wanted a wallet for his cash. My son has a wallet now! He wanted pictures to put into his new wallet ... and he even asked how he can get an identification card of some sort or credit card to put into his wallet, lol.

He wanted to buy his own toys and pay for it at the cash register. He wanted to go to the movies where they serve 'real food' and pay for his own food. He is growing up so fast! He even wanted to pay for his food at McDonald's; the cashier in the drive through looked so confused!

I looked back at his baby pictures and I can't believe how time flies. I know every parent says that, but being in the moment, it really does go by far too quickly. I am thoroughly enjoying every day, every moment, every learning opportunity (for them and for me), every smile, every kiss, every hug, every tear, every giggle, every snuggle, every single second ... they are all so precious!