It's so easy as a parent to get lost in the daily push. I get up at 5 AM, I'm on-the-go the second I hear my alarm (before I even open my eyes!), and by the evening I've given my all to work, the house and the kids. It takes every ounce of push to be patient all the way to the second they are ready for bed.
Most days I can push to that second. Most days, that is a mission accomplished. Then there are days where I fall short of that parental goal. My baby girl, Solana, has a way of reminding me how important that task is, for her development. Growing up myself, I was an only child most of my childhood. By the time my sister came along, I was old enough to have to fend for myself while my sister got all the (well-deserved) attention.
Having my own kids "close together" means that I have to program myself to think differently about parenting! There are times when I am impatient when I shouldn't be, and I recognize it right away when it happens. I have to remind myself that there are things I taught her older brother, and that she hasn't had that same luxury, of undivided attention when it comes to valuable teaching moments. I don't want to ever take that for granted!
So when they fight, I have been practicing being even more patient so that I can focus on each child separately. When they are both battling for my attention, I work extra hard to get them to take turns and give them equal attention. When I find myself defending one over the other, more often than not, I stop myself long enough to analyze how each can learn from the situation instead of demanding more of one over the other. I know it sounds silly but it takes concentrated effort to think that way, for me at least. Maybe my immaturity is coming through but there are days where I think it's just so much easier to do nothing ... to just separate them, send them their respective ways, tell them what to do (instead of actually parenting and teaching) and just (erroneously) focus back on what I was doing - house chores or working from home.
In her shoes, I worry that being a lazy parent translates to Solana thinking that I am an angry person, that I have no time for her, that I don't like her playing with her brother, etc! Luckily I have a beautiful and brilliant daughter that simply won't settle for those kinds of thoughts! She forces me to be a better person and a better example to her! My gorgeous little girl teaches me the value of positive parenting. She will literally cling to me, by whichever limb she can grab, and tell me how it is! And I love it!
"Mommy, I just want you to not be mad!"
"Mama, you didn't laugh and I was funny!"
"Mommy, I just wanted you to talk to me!"
"But mom, you didn't look at what I was showing you!"
Solana will go so far as to grab my face until I'm looking directly at her. She demands attention! Truly I love that about her! And parenting her is so rewarding too. When I dedicate the effort she deserves, she absorbs learning opportunities so well! She asks questions, she restates, she analyzes ... it's a beautiful thing to watch! Solana inspires me and that's where I draw my strength from!
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